This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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