There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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