I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
