I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
