You really coming over, don't trick.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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