Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
