Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
