Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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