belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
