i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
