I wish my penis had an off switch
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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