yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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