I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
