Dual....:-)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
