New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
