I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
