I like to think it a success when the cops are called
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
how drunk are you?
Several
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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