Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think i have two assholes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
