Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
