i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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