so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
