My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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