I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
