Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
