Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
