Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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