If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
