Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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