I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
