I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
