He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
