i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
