This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
