wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
only you would photoshop your dick
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
