tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
