we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
