This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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