I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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