you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Randomize
