I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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