I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize