as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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