Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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