Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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