Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You ate ashes out of my bong
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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