he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize