I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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