It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
