I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
