I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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