You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
kristin has been a bad kristin
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
