I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
