using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
