i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
