Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize