pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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