In the future we'll all be gay
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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