She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
