i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
