I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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